Monday, February 14, 2011

Living with Liza

One evening after a hard day in office, as I slouched on my couch, I heard some hissing, wrangling sound among the pile of books on the slab. I rushed there in an instant. And I saw her.
She was trying to hide from me. Trying to run away from me. Hesitating to look into my eyes. A kind of shyness I guess. And once in a while giving me coquettish glances. I tried to shoo her away. In the process she made a blitzkrieg movement and scared the shit out of me! In one big somersault, I reached my bedroom, and closed the door firmly with a bang , like you see in Hindi movies where the female protagonist bangs the door, to avoid the goon attempting to outrage her modesty. Then I switched off the light and pretended like an ostrich that there is nothing to worry about.
But there was more in store. Now her sight became quite familiar to me. Hiding at impossible places, like the small one inch space between the cupboard and the wall, the gaps between the tubelight holder and the wall, the tiny creeks and crevices in the walls and doors, and at times only her tail being visible, dangling as if she be dancing to some tune'sheela sheela kee jawaani'. In the process I realized that the walls and doors have more crevices than the plane surface!
May be it was for her that Ghalib wrote
Woh aayay hamaray ghar par khuda kee kudrat hain
Kabhi ham unko aur kabhi deewar ko dayktay hain

Initial few days I resisted and despised her presence. Armed with a broom, I tried to physically threaten her. The broom in hand was no match for the Jackie Chan like sharp movements of her. I searched through Google, for all the ways and means to drive her and her tribe away. I tried making use of empty egg shells. I tried different herbs and medicines, but in vain. Dawaa bhi kaam na aayay dua bhi na lagay!Then I took recourse to solution-for-all-problems- channel Asian sky shop/ TeleBrand show. There were myriads of goods for sale, from Tummy reducer to Wealth creating Rudraksha and Dhanalaxmi yantras, but there was nothing for Liza and her tribe.
Finally, left with Hobson’s choice I signed a bilateral peace treaty with her. As per the treaty she was not to cross her territory (maryaada?) and me not to disturb her. And we are still living peacefully.
Please follow the link(link to be updated later) to catch a glimpse of her, in her meditative aasan, which she can incredibly hold for hours together.
P.S Don’t ask me why Liza? How do I know if she is a female?
I am not a zoologist and neither did I lift her yuck tail!!!!

2 comments:

Junaid said...

I am not a zoologist either, but I dont think you can see anything by lifting her tail and outraging her modesty. Besides, I dont think she might be dancing to Sheila and stuff, living with you, by now she must be in a position to recite most of Ghalib - Daag - Firaaq . . Tune jo jhadu chhod di, usne bhi hathiyaar rakh diya . .

Anonymous said...

:)